What's Your Attachment Style?

Welcome to the What's Your Attachment Style? test. Our early experiences with caregivers often shape how we form and maintain relationships throughout our lives. This test aims to help you understand your predominant attachment style: Secure, Anxious-Preoccupied, Dismissive-Avoidant, or Fearful-Avoidant.

Understanding your attachment style can provide profound insights into your relationship patterns, communication habits, and emotional needs. It's a powerful tool for self-awareness and for building healthier, more fulfilling connections. You'll answer 10 questions about your feelings and behaviors in relationships.

Answer honestly, selecting the option that most accurately reflects your typical feelings or actions, even if it feels uncomfortable. This is a journey of self-discovery. Let's begin!

Start Your Attachment Style Assessment (10 Questions)

1. When you're in a relationship, how do you typically feel about closeness and intimacy?

A) I feel comfortable with both closeness and independence. B) I desire a lot of closeness and worry my partner might not want as much as I do. C) I prefer a lot of independence and can feel suffocated by too much closeness. D) I want closeness but also fear it, and often push people away when they get too close.

2. How do you handle conflict or disagreements with your partner?

A) I can express my feelings calmly and work towards a resolution together. B) I get very anxious and may become overly emotional or try hard to appease my partner. C) I tend to withdraw or shut down, avoiding the discussion or dismissing its importance. D) I might get angry or defensive, then withdraw, feeling confused and scared.

3. How do you feel when your partner is spending time away from you (e.g., with friends, on a trip)?

A) I trust them and enjoy my own time, looking forward to reconnecting. B) I often feel anxious, worried about what they're doing or if they're thinking of me. C) I enjoy the space and might not miss them much, feeling comfortable in my own company. D) I feel lonely and worried, but also might secretly enjoy the distance, fearing vulnerability.

4. How do you seek comfort and support from your partner when you're distressed?

A) I feel comfortable reaching out and accepting their comfort. B) I might over-express my distress to ensure I get their attention and reassurance. C) I tend to deal with it myself and don't typically seek comfort from my partner. D) I want comfort but struggle to ask for it directly, or I push it away when offered.

5. How do you typically view commitment in a relationship?

A) I see it as a natural progression and feel comfortable with long-term plans. B) I push for commitment early, worrying about the relationship's future or my partner's dedication. C) I feel hesitant about commitment and value my independence too much. D) I crave commitment but also fear being trapped or hurt, leading to mixed signals.

6. How do you react if your partner hasn't replied to your message for a while?

A) I assume they're busy and wait for their reply without much worry. B) I start to worry, check my phone obsessively, and might send multiple follow-up messages. C) I don't give it much thought; I'm used to independence and don't need constant communication. D) I feel a mix of panic and anger, assuming the worst, but might hide my feelings or lash out later.

7. When your partner needs support, how do you tend to respond?

A) I offer comfort and support, feeling empathetic and capable of helping. B) I might feel overwhelmed by their needs or use the opportunity to seek reassurance for myself. C) I might feel uncomfortable with intense emotions and try to offer practical solutions rather than emotional support. D) I want to help, but their vulnerability might trigger my own fears, making me pull back or offer inconsistent support.

8. How do you feel about expressing your vulnerabilities or weaknesses to a partner?

A) I feel comfortable sharing them, knowing it builds trust and intimacy. B) I might share them quickly to feel closer, but then worry about being judged or rejected. C) I avoid it almost entirely, believing it makes me appear weak or dependent. D) I deeply desire to share but am terrified of what might happen if I do, leading to hesitation.

9. What is your typical response when a relationship feels "too good to be true"?

A) I enjoy it and appreciate the positive aspects of the relationship. B) I get extremely happy but also worry constantly that it might end or something will go wrong. C) I might start to feel bored or look for reasons to distance myself, as intense happiness can feel uncomfortable. D) I become highly suspicious and might unconsciously or consciously create drama to test the relationship or push them away.

10. How do you feel about setting boundaries in a relationship?

A) I can clearly and kindly communicate my boundaries and respect my partner's. B) I struggle to set boundaries, fearing it will upset my partner or push them away. C) I set firm boundaries, sometimes rigidly, and can feel invaded if they are crossed. D) I might set very strict boundaries one moment and then immediately regret it, leading to inconsistency.

Your Relationship Attachment Style Analysis

Here's a detailed breakdown of your predominant attachment tendencies:

Understanding your attachment style is a profound step in your journey towards healthier relationships. While these styles are often formed early in life, they are not fixed and can evolve with awareness and effort.

Important Disclaimer: This online self-assessment is designed to provide general insights into your relationship attachment style. It is **not a psychological diagnosis** and should not replace professional advice for attachment-related issues. For personalized guidance or to address specific relationship patterns, please consult with a qualified therapist or mental health professional.